Often, one of the most important roles we play as a coach, is helping others achieve greater clarity. There is clarity for them, around the expectations for their job, their role, how they will be measured, etc. We expand their clarity in letting them know how they are doing. Performance feedback might be the most important clarity you provide.
We also create clarity with them when we help them articulate what they want, from their job, from the company, from you, others. Understanding what someone wants is the pivotal piece in helping them evaluate how their current behavior is serving them in getting what they want.
Our questions can help clarify an employee’s thinking. “Did your _____________ (action, reaction, choice) serve you, the department, the organization well?” Your questions of clarification help frame for the employee the impact of their actions in a broader context without condemning. When your questions help them to see that their actions aren’t helping them get what they want, they will likely be motivated to make a change.
Too often I see a leader/parent be quick to verbally judge or condemn their employee/child’s actions. In order to move ourselves to another level of effectiveness, it is far more important that we develop the questions that will allow the other person to see for themselves the consequences of their choices. It’s not wrong that an employee, or child, see/feel your frustration, or disappointment, but we achieve so much more when the individual draws the conclusion for themselves. Helping others find their answers shows your respect for them and goes further in your ability to maintain and grow the relationship. This enables you to increase your influence.
Pay attention to the foundation of clarity in your coaching conversations, and you will see better results.
To a better you…
Jim