Often, when I’m seeking some inspiration, I’ll sit in silence until something comes to me. In this case I found myself reflecting on humor in the workplace and humor in life. Initially, this seemed like an odd thing to occur to me, but then I’m used to odd things occurring to me. So, I followed the thread. I figured that at worse I’d get a good laugh out of it.
I became cognizant at about eight or nine that there was tension in my family that I couldn’t always explain. I remember that I was uncomfortable and I remember my mother’s sadness. I wanted to ‘cheer up’ my mother. In the simplistic mind of an eight year old making her laugh seemed like the best way to cheer her up. Little did I know at the time that I was playing out a role in my family, the role of ‘clown,’ or ‘jester.’ (I’m not making this up. If you read things on family dynamics it’s an actual role.)
What I discovered was I liked to make people laugh, but the more important discovery was that humor not only cheered up my mother, but seemed to have this magical quality of instantly dissipating the tension…at least for a while. It took me a little while to perfect humor at school as ‘constructive’ versus just being labeled the ‘class clown.’
A word or two of explanation about the ‘humor’ I am referring to. Sometimes, it is the ability to tell a humorous story that is appropriate to the moment. More often, it is simply making a humorous comment at just the right moment that relieves the ‘tension’ or ‘awkwardness’ present in the moment. The humor I’m referring to is the kind that juxtaposes the seriousness of a situation with humor. In an instant we are afforded another look, another perspective in dealing with the ‘emotions’ or the ‘seriousness’ of the moment. It can improve how we relate and reveal a little more of our humanity.
Later, I added sarcasm to my repertoire. I didn’t learn until much later what a bad choice that was, as sarcasm is often at the expense of someone else. A colleague and friend took the risk of telling me that my use of sarcasm, in the presence of those who didn’t know me, was often not funny and reflected poorly on me.
In almost every walk of life a sense of humor seems to be an asset. As I discovered, humor has a way of relieving tension. It can be the ‘ice breaker’ that is valuable in new relationships, in new teams, and how we work together. At work, humor can be the ‘safety valve’ in relieving the stress of a moment or a day. Well done, humor is…well…fun!
Humor invites us to not take ourselves too seriously, nor the human condition. We know that laughter has healing potential. Humor may be either God’s greatest mistake if you believe we should take ‘all this’ more seriously, or His greatest gift if you believe we need a modicum of relief from what is inherently a serious place.
When we talk about Emotional Intelligence, humor may be the ‘X’ factor. It may be the one ability of how we think about ourselves, express ourselves in the world, establish and maintain relationships, make decisions that our full of emotions, or deal with stress that allows us to be more successful and fulfilled in our lives. It is subtle, and often overlooked, but as I saw somewhere, “People with a good sense of humor are more attractive.”
What role does humor play in your life, in your work, in your relationships?