This picture is a small portion of our garden. These are beautiful poppies and their neighbors, the white Iris. They show their splendor in late Spring.Spring is my favorite time of year. I suppose part of that is tied to the renewal/‘rebirth’ we are lucky enough to celebrate with the transition from the Winter season to the Spring Season. There is so much going on! I love to watch the new growth peek through the ground where the old is still providing a ‘blanket.’ The ‘dark’ of winter gives way to the ‘light’ of Spring. This season ‘unveils’ new life, new opportunity, new promise, new growth. Fact is, all of life is about cycles of depleting and renewing.
Along about late February (more like mid-March this year), my body seems to have its own yearning for ‘rebirth’ and new opportunity. I begin to look for the one place where the house comes to a corner where the deck meets the house. This is the one place that when it is 45 degrees and sunny it feels like 65 degrees. I stand in the corner, close my eyes and feel the brightness and warmth of the sun. Thus begins the process of ‘shedding’ winter and seeing all the possibilities of Spring…whether that is in our gardens or in my life.
Renewal is part of the rhythm of life. “Renewal is a time for us to pause and centre, so we can re-enter our day refreshed.” (Wong Yim Harm, Wu Mi Yin, Tending Our Gardens). Renewal ‘generates’ energy. For us, renewal must be intentional to be effective. My observation is that many of us are far better at depleting than we are at renewing. Subtly, we have chosen to allow our ‘labor saving devices’ to extend our day, increase our ‘busy-ness,’ and rob us of contact and community with others, including our children. We are desperate to belong, to find our way, that ‘place’ to contribute in real ways, yet choosing to do the very things that take us farther away from those goals we are seeking.
The other day my daughter and I were talking about connecting and friendships and how messy they can get. She stopped and commented, in almost ‘by the way’ fashion, that she had 1100 friends on Facebook, as if to at first demonstrate some validation. A short moment later we were laughing, knowing that the vast majority of those ‘friends’ aren’t friends in the most meaningful sense of the word. We’re not really ‘in relationship’ with them, but share space and information.
What is the consequence of not fully honoring our ‘search for meaning?’ We become experts at depletion – Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Spiritually (credit to Richard W. Smith for ‘organizing’ them into P.I.E.S). If our energy centers (any or all) contain more things that deplete us rather than give us energy then we cannot become the ‘best version of ourselves.’ Our lives will not contain as much joy, our relationships will be less satisfying, our work will not be as good as it could be. Our ability to grow, create, experience will be affected. Everything will be affected. At least 25% of the adults in the US live this ‘version’ of life.
Is this really how we want to live? Are we even aware that we are living this way?
The foundation of renewal begins with rest. From there, the renewal habits you build for yourself are exactly that – yours. Over time I have built the following renewal components for myself. For those of you who do not have such habits I thought there might be value in knowing what some look like. These habits have the most power and meaning when you develop them. Some you have heard years, maybe decades. This is what works best for me in bringing the best version of myself.
- Three of the cornerstones of my “Best Version Pyramid” consist of rest, what I eat, and exercise. The basics of physical renewal.
- My exercise is a combination of aerobic (e.g., bike riding, swimming, walking) and strength training – pushups, core work, weights, bands); four to five times/week. As the weather warms that can include working in the yard as well. Or, the exercise can include a family bike ‘adventure’ on the Monon.
- The fourth cornerstone is about the “pause and centre” that Wong and Wu speak of in Tending Our Garden. This cornerstone is normally about being alone – to meditate, pray, read, write, explore, to be in silence. This time feeds and renews my intellect, my emotional well-being, and/or my spiritual well-being.
Other habits of renewal for me.
- Meaningful conversation. Often, the quality of how I interact, how and what I create, are enhanced by being with people that love good conversation. They are conversations about life, about meaning, about contribution, about sharing, about living life in community with others – people that give me energy rather than take it.
- On the other end of the spectrum is time to just ‘be’ without purpose. My son taught me that not every conversation has to be ‘intense’ and have meaning. Sometimes just being with others, being present is sufficient.
- ‘Artist date’ with myself or my daughter. My daughter and I like to take photographs. It renews and feeds our soul. Once/month, in the better weather, I like to get some time to take photographs, to create. Sometimes with her, sometimes alone. I would like to do better with this.
- Travel. To take in other places, particularly a ‘target rich environment’ for photos, new people, and an appreciation of that which is not where I live.
- Garden walks. To spend time three or four times a week Spring through Fall with a glass of wine and my wife, the Master Gardner, taking in all the ways that our various gardens ‘cycle’ during the growing season.
There are other ‘rituals,’ but these are the most meaningful to me. I hope sharing some of my own rituals stimulated your own thinking and demonstrated that renewing is not just about meditation, does not always take a long time, nor is complex. What it is is regular.
In this season of renewal I invite you to consider improving how you care for yourself, and take time to build your renewal habits.