I look at ‘discipline’ as the attribute or ability to follow-through with behaviors that allow you to achieve your stated goals, follow your guiding principles, live out your values. I am sometimes asked, “Where does discipline come from?” or “How can I be a more disciplined leader?” In my case the answer of where discipline comes from is simple. My father is a disciplined man. But, it’s not quite that simple. It took me understanding what my life was like when I wasn’t disciplined in order to increase my resolve around discipline. My path in leadership required a great deal of discipline in order to make the right decisions for the right reasons, including those made in collaboration with others.
Sometimes there is ‘intention’ to become a leader. Sometimes, it is ‘thrust’ upon us for a variety of reasons. Regardless of the intent, at the core is normally the fact that a person exceled at their job. They got noticed and from that they were promoted.
The ‘discipline’ of leadership begins with ‘inner’ work. Inner work is about what we know and think about ourselves. How ‘aware’ are we of what we think about ourselves, our purpose, and awareness of our emotions. This ‘knowing ourselves’ is tied to how we express ourselves in the world. Our emotional expression, level of assertiveness, and how self-directed we are is directly related to what and how we think about ourselves. This ‘self-expression’ is how the world sees us.
The work of the leader is to build their understanding and grow their capacity in order to respond well in a variety of situations with a large cross-section of people. It can take a long time to come to see ourselves like other people see us. If, when, you can do this your ability to respond well to situations and people increases. Part of the problem is that it takes a great deal of energy and discipline to remain ‘awake’ long enough to become more aware of who you are choosing to become. It has been my experience that the very best leaders are people who have done, and continue to do, the inner work.
Reflection is a key companion during this time of inner understanding and growth. Without reflection we tend to ‘muddle’ around with our ‘discoveries’ about ourselves rather than integrating it in a real way. Reflection is the ‘vehicle’ that accentuates our ability to choose to become…a better person, a better leader, a better _______ (fill in the blank). In a world of great temptations for ‘busyness’ it takes great discipline to build reflection time as part of building our capacity.
Of all the ‘inner’ work that I have done, learning to listen to understand required the most discipline. It fundamentally changed many of my conversations. I went from a desire to “make my point” to wanting to understand more thoroughly the other person and their perspective. This was particularly true as we were solving problems, looking for new approaches/products, and in general, finding a better way.
Listening to understand enables me to connect and influence at a higher level (remember, we talk about leadership being a by-product of relationship; listening is a key component of building that relationship). Having the patience and awareness to listen to understand requires discipline.
All of the discipline of ‘inner’ work is about building our capacity as people and as leaders. From that capacity building we are able to move into the world with greater purpose and understanding. The actions we take are directly influenced by the ‘inner’ work. The result is that we are more informed which promotes better choices, allowing us to respond to our situation and the people in our lives with greater influence and impact.
The actions we take require discipline to insure that there is alignment between what we know (knowledge), what we know how (skill), and what we believe and value. Are we using ‘all of us’ to accomplish/achieve our highest priorities? When there is alignment then there is greater authenticity to who we are and how we impact those around us. In many ways when I talk about the ‘highest version’ or my ‘highest contribution,’ I am talking about the fact that the work we are doing in the world is aligned with the inner work that came first.
As I end this I can’t help but feel that there is more. Maybe the ‘more’ will come from you. However it comes, I will share it with you. For now, I will leave you with two questions. Are those around you experiencing you at your highest level of contribution? If not, what ‘inner’ work is still left to do?
To a better you…