How Is Your Behavior Contributing to What You See?
Our leadership focus this month is about the connection between our behavior and what we observe from those we lead. My story with the lead question is both embarrassing and encouraging. It was through this ‘exposure’ that I came to understand my ‘influence’ in the organization. There were many positive things; there were things that were embarrassing. At the very least, the journey was humbling, and helped me to become a more effective leader.
While we don’t address it here this month, our lead question can be applied to parenting as well – with equally indicting results. Let me know what you are learning about this for yourself. Hopefully, our discussion this month will be a catalyst for your own thinking and discovery.
If you miss any of our writing, you can find it at www.ldrshipvision.com under the “Resource” section.
Do your best work and be well.
Jim
How Is Your Behavior Contributing to What You See Around You?
It has been many years since I first heard that question, but it never fails to bring a knowing smile to my face because of how hard it was to answer. The context for the question was that I had been telling my coach about some issues I was having with my senior leadership. After listening he asked me, “How is your behavior contributing to what you see?” I froze. The question was so on the mark, and so scary, it took me several minutes to think about the connection between the issues I was describing, and how my behavior contributed to the issue. While I was thinking, I answered, “Can I have the question behind door number two?” The subsequent laughter broke the tension I was feeling…temporarily.
As I filtered through the issues of accountability and execution, I realized that there were no real consequences for my team not being accountable, and for us not executing the way we knew how. I was so focused on the relationship aspect of my team and our organization, that I was failing to get things done, or hold others accountable. I was letting us down. Ouch!
That was a very uncomfortable moment for me. There were more to come. As I examined what we did well, and the areas where we weren’t as strong, I saw a connection between what I was emphasizing, or neglecting, and how we were doing. It was eye opening and indicting. Before that time, I didn’t make the direct connection between what I said and what I did – where my ‘good intentions’ started and my follow-through happened, and where it didn’t.
As I said, that was many years ago. Those lessons serve me well today. My Director of HR once told me, “Jim, you will never know how much staff watches you.” She was right. I had to be much more intentional about what I said, committed to, and followed through on. I understood, in a very intimate way, the damage that good intentions do to trust and influence.
We can be quick to judge others that work for us about their shortcomings of behavior, decision-making, critical thinking, strategy, or execution. If you are willing to turn the lens on yourself and connect what you see (both positive and not) with your behavior, what would you find?
As you continue to ‘sharpen your leadership saw,’ I would encourage you to take this journey, if you haven’t. You may not like what you find, but I can guarantee you that it may be one of the most important journeys you will ever take in improving your leadership effectiveness.
To a better you…
Jim
Of Interest:
Four ways your good intentions as a leader can kill performance.